Oatmeal, what's not to like. It's perfect just as it is. But you can always make it perfecter. Here is my great granny's home recipe from the old country, when she and great grandpa used to get their freak on. Start by boiling water in 2 of your biggest pots you have. Clean out a 5 gallon bucket. Start by opening 2 containers of instant oats, (generic will do just fine, but it must be instant cook oats). Pour the oats into the clean bucket and pour in about 2-4 cups of vegetable oil and stir to coat and soak into the oats. Do this while the water is getting hot. Once the water is boiling, carefully add about 2 gallons water to the bucket and carefully stir (I use a paint mixer on a drill). Then pour in 2 boxes of cake mix, (any flavor, I prefer chocolate) and stir until well blended. Let everything cook and do it's thing for about 30 minutes. Test for thickness and temperature, as you might not want to burn off your testicles or her nipples. Add cold water if needed, and more oatmeal if needed to get your perfect texture, (I usually add a 3rd container of oatmeal, but I like to live large). This makes a rich smelling, super soft, super silky, super thick, warm, gooey, substance that gets into all the right places, and is guaranteed to keep you coming back for more. Thanks for reading, and stay messy my friends.